New Year’s Eve, 2021
Happy New Year!
Now stop right there, and take a step away from that new year’s resolution. I know what you’re thinking. You’ll use the new year as a jumping off point to change things. You’ll become a new person. For good this time.
Pick a topic. Exercise. Diet. Money. Smoking. Time management. These represent the most common new year’s resolutions.
“Starting tomorrow,” many of us say, “I’m going to exercise every day.” “From January 1 onward, I resolve to lose the extra twenty pounds I’ve been living with.” Or “No more smoking as of the first day of the new year.” Or “I’m going to start saving $100 a week starting at the beginning of the year.”
But here’s the thing about new year’s resolutions. 80% of new year’s resolutions fail by the time February rolls around.
Why is that?
Too Much Emotion, Not Enough Logic
Partly, it’s because, when we make new year’s resolutions we are committing to changing our habits based strictly on emotion. New year’s resolutions are romantic and dramatic. They’re fun to make and to say because the emotion of the moment is charged and electric. That’s a good thing but it’s also part of the problem.
That electricity, that high emotion, won’t last throughout the year, or even long enough to sustain the habit change. In fact, in most cases, the emotion that inspired the resolution will die out within a month. The resolution fades. The habit change doesn’t stick. We’re back where we started before that triumphant moment of declaring the resolution.
Another problem with most new year’s resolutions is that they are temporary. They’re linked to the new year, and too many of these resolutions are declared without long-term thought, though it’s long-term goals and results that we are aiming for.
It’s Not About New Year’s
To be clear, I’m not altogether against new year’s resolutions. Nor, for that matter, am I against resolutions at any time of the year, on any eve, whether it’s December 31, March 8 or October 13. The date doesn’t matter.
Part of my issue with new year’s resolutions is that they are declaring and insisting that we will change because the calendar flips to another day.
But the day is arbitrary. The calendar is a construct, an invention by humans to measure the passage of time. The changing of one year to the next doesn’t demarcate any real extrinsic changes. It only means we have collectively decided that we will all agree that a new year has begun. Nothing more.
Setting Goals
When we make a new year’s resolution, we’re setting a goal to change personally in some way. That’s not easily done, as many a failed resolution might evidence. Making personal habit changes might start with an emotional mindset. But in order to be successful, at some point the endeavor requires a measure of practical thinking as well.
When you make a resolution, new year’s or otherwise, go ahead and start with the big, romantic declaration, “I’m going to lose weight,” “I’m going to cut down on drinking,” “I’m going to bench press 200 pounds.”
But follow it up by chunking it down and setting real, practical goals. If you’re planning to lose weight, great. Make that statement, then get real. Decide, first of all, how much weight you’re going to lose overall. Then how much you’re going to lose per week to reach that overarching goal. Now set a realistic time frame for when you will shed that weight.
Mark the ultimate weight-loss goal on the calendar, then work it backwards. Break it down further into one-week goals. Then decide each day how your goal will work into your life, what you will change to reach your short-term and long-term goals, and add as much detail as you can. Eat less than 2,000 calories a day? Increase your bench press weight by 10 pounds a week? Add 10 reps a week? Restrict yourself to no more than two cocktails a week?
When it comes to resolutions, more specificity equals a better chance for success.
And importantly, be aware when you make a resolution that you are deciding to make a permanent habit change. It’s not about reaching a weight-loss goal and then stopping and putting the weight back on. You wouldn’t decide to quit smoking as your goal and then start again once you’ve decided you’ve succeeded.
Rather, a resolution is about life change, about the way you want to become, for good. To do that, you need to make habitual changes to your daily routine, so that your goal becomes your new way of life. Ideally, after a while you don’t even think about it, it’s now who you are. A person who doesn’t smoke. A person who works out three times a week. A person who wears size 36 jeans. Whatever.
Go Ahead, Make That Resolution
It’s not about the new year.
Setting goals can be done any time on any day of the year. No need to wait for the new year to arrive. If you believe your goal is worth setting, then the time to start is now, today, whenever that happens to be. If you missed the new year and it’s a week into January, no problem. You didn’t miss an opportunity. If you find yourself wanting to set a goal a week before the new year, why wait?
And if it does happen to be December 31 when you decide to declare and set a big goal, that’s fine. Just, perhaps, don’t think of it as a new year’s resolution. It’s a goal you are setting to change your life, and you happen to be committing to it today, which happens to be December 31.
Or February 22. Or June 18. The date doesn’t matter. What matters is your commitment to your goal. So go ahead. Declare, resolve and get started.
The opportunity to make the resolution and act on it is today.